Learning Things...Medically

So as much as I don’t like the guys that work at the mine above my town, I must thank them for today’s lesson:
How to sew stitches.

Now before Michael Hirsh (the director of Peace Corps Peru) has a conniption and kicks me out of the program. I didn’t learn on a person! Let me tell the story before I get kicked out for practicing medicine (cause I totally didn’t on a person)

Ok so the story is needed. I was discussing how smelly these men at the mine are with the pharmacy technician in my town as we were collecting materials to go to the neighboring towns as the king of smelly walks in covered in blood accompanied by our lab technician who was about 3 seconds from fainting. We won’t get into why our lab technician can’t stand the sight of blood… but yes, this guy has a 6 inch gash in his arm and in his wisdom decided to tie off his arm with his shoe lace so that he could walk the 45 minutes from the mine to the Health Center (yeah the mine didn’t want to take him in the truck because it’s a waste of gas…).

So I had 2 reactions to this sight: 1. Oh dear lord that’s a ton of blood why did we have blood sausage for lunch, and 2. Cool! So I decided to let the emotions in reaction 2 take the wheel and follow the doctors into the exam room to do my usual helpful tasks (hand them the stuff they need or hold an IV because I’m taller than they are…basically act like furniture). Due to the fact that we didn’t have electricity and I’m an amazingly prepared Peace Corps volunteer I was asked to put my headlamp on and stare at this guys gash while holding an IV above my head. Yes I hope you all have a mental picture going…because I can assure you that it was a funny sight. Oh I forgot to mention this was at 7pm, aka time that the sun goes down in Peru so that’s why the Gringa’s headlamp was needed. This guy walked in with a 6in long, penetrating stab basically from a rock that shattered as he was picking it up. After getting the rock pieces out of the flap of skin (yeah it was cool to watch, just glad it wasn’t my arm because our numbing injection wasn’t helping the guy too much at this point). But I’m watching the doctor sew this guy up and let me tell you people it’s not as easy as it looks on Grey’s Anatomy people…at least not with hard Peruvian campo skin. Well apparently had a look of awe or “algo asi” (something like that) because the doctor asked me if I wanted to try. After explaining that we weren’t allowed to practice medicine in the Peace Corps (aka do anything doctor-y) and the look of “oh god please no” fell off the injured guy’s face Dr. Alex said afterwards I’d get to practice. I had no clue on what at this point--I was just too busy staring at this gash to provide light to question.

So after a good 45 minutes of sewing (this was a killer gash) and the guy’s all clean and “juntando” (together in one piece) and we explained that “no sir you cannot go back to work right now, you have a 6 in penetrating STAB wound from your work and you’re whole hand is numb…of course you can’t go back to work today you idiot” (ok we didn’t say it exactly like that…but it had that effect) Dr. Alex said it was time to practice. Me and the pharmacy technician decided to follow suit, with equal “what’s about to happen” stares. We close up the health center (it closes at 7 anyways) and went to a neighboring house where Dr. Alex asks about the ½ kilo of chicken that he asked for that morning (yeah you have to order your chicken in advance here so they can kill it and clean it) and walked back with his chicken to the Health Center.

Now to my Grey’s Anatomy fan friends, think the Christiana trying to help Burke with his hand episode. The Doctor cut the chicken to the bone and handed me a pair of gloves and the (cleaned) rest of this guys “sewing kit” and proceeded to instruct me on how to sew a stitch. It’s a lot easier on a chicken than it appeared to be on a person—so that made things easier. I don’t think it was the worst sewing job ever done in the history of the world…but it certainly wasn’t the prettiest. But the doctor said if the chicken wasn’t already dead and dismembered in 4ths that he probably would have survived with my sewing job…so that’s cool.

And no mom and dad, this does not mean I want to be a doctor—sorry, you’ll still have to look at Mike for the money in the family to pay for the really good nursing home for you guys. I’m the do-gooder—there’s never any money in that.