Really. You’re Going to Steal Compost???

It was just like any other day after a trip to Chiclayo. I get back to site and my brain is still in a swirl of e-mails I need to answer for my next trip to civilization, paperwork to be done, project work to be started, and all around lack of ability to effectively communicate in Spanish because the past day and a half was spent thinking and talking in English. I was tired but I knew that my garden had been a whole 2 days without water and was probably very thirsty so I worked up the energy to go and water my plants.

It was just like any other day. I drug the hose from the health post to the back lot, and then I went to my secret hiding spot for the extra 10 yards of hose I bought and grabbed it; then connected it to the other hose. I set it down in the plot in the back right corner of my garden, its where I always start—what can I say, I fall into habits easily, and then walked back to the front of the health post to turn the water on. In my walk back towards the garden the health post owl family did their usual low sweep to scare the begeezes out of me and I walked back to the back right corner. I put water in the 4 rows of broccoli and then turned to water my compost….and… and it was GONE!

I stood there for a good minute processing what I saw while water was pouring onto the ground and splashing mud up all over my jeans. Where my 3 by 3 by 2 foot pile of decomposed weeds, fruit peels, dead plants, dry foliage, egg shells, and guinea pig crap was gone…gone, as in nowhere to be found. The ground had been recently shoveled; I could see where the edge of the blade had run into a rock I had put to support the stick in the middle of my compost. It was also completely dry, so the compost had been gone for at least a whole day. The dried grass clump that had been covering my compost had been moved to the side. My stick was placed a few feet to the right of where it should have been…it should have been in the middle of 25 kilograms of almost ready to use compost. But it was just leaning up beside my fence staring at me just as confused as I was. I’m about 95% sure I let out a whimper as I stared into the empty plot that used to have my compost in it.

The water was still pouring out of the hose and my pants were now completely covered in mud and water spray. I managed to compose myself enough to turn around and to place the hose in the next plot with the black eyed peas…then I let out a few curse words in English and kicked the stick. I stood there just staring for another few minutes trying to think of a plausible explanation of where it had gone. Surely someone at the health post had thought it was just trash (we burn piles of waste organic material here, and I had a huge pile of it in the back. I can see how it would easily confuse someone). No, no one from the health post even bothers to come into my garden, if they came inside they knew I’d make them help me.

 Maybe it was Beto, the guy who cleans the health post. I yelled over the back wall and asked him if he’d seen my compost, he replied “what is compost?” Guess not.

Okay, I needed another train of thought. Who knew about my compost? All the guys at ADRA (the farming NGO that works in my site) knew about it, but they have around 100, 50 kilogram bags full of worm poop which is about 100 times better than my compost. So they didn’t steal it right? I yelled over the fence to Don Alejo, the guy who works the tractor, to ask him. Nope, he said he hadn’t seen it.

Guessing that Beto, the nicest guy I know in town, and Don Alejo the most honest guy I know in town (he once admitted to having pooped in my garden when he was drunk…so he wouldn’t lie about compost) weren’t lying to me I was back at square one.

 I went to turn off the water and then walked into the health post. I asked the new doctor (she had only been there 2 days) if she knew anything. She didn’t even know I had a garden…how you miss a huge wall of white plastic bags in the back of the health post I’m not sure, but I hope she pays more attention when giving medical exams. Carlos said he knew nothing, but was talking to me in his “I know more than I want you to know” voice that I hate and have come to not trust. I asked his BFF Walter if he knew anything and he gave me his “what the heck do I know” face. So I had a hunch, but with no real supporting evidence I was still left with no leads in my case of missing compost.

I then proceeded to forget about putting water on the rest of my garden and resorted in to all around pouty face mode. I know that sounds childish, but we shall call it the straw that broke the camel’s back. The past few months the 40 mothers who had been helping me garden began dropping like flies. At this point I was lucky if 2 mothers showed up a month to help me. Waking up at 5:30am every day to water and de-weed before the sun gets up and has the chance to burn me had gotten very old. Not to mention there is a stupid white spider that apparently likes making its nests inside my green tomatoes, killing them of course, that CANNOT be killed! So I was already in a bad mood. THEN I find my compost missing. The compost that was supposed to give me some HUGE basil plants to make some killer pizza sauce to make the amazing pizzas I make with don Elmer, and that was supposed to go towards planting Talla trees at the high school with the boys I took to Camp VALOR.  This camel was pissed and needed chocolate to make all her worries go away.

So after channeling my inner 8 year old and telling my hose mom in a “oh my God the world is out to get me” tone of voice the case of the missing compost she was of no help making me feel better, replying that the mayor probably had something to do with it. Yes the man is out to get me, but does he even know what compost is?

Fully frustrated and completely pissed off I retreated to my room and ate a whole (huge) bar of Hersey’s chocolate that Casie had brought me when she visited. I even resorted to my EMERGENCY ONLY Mountain Dew can (yeah I found a can at Plaza Vea and brought it back to site for such emergencies) and then ate some vanilla cookies with peanut butter. It was an all out pig-out on comfort food situation. I then went to bed (it was 9pm by the time I made it back to my house) and hoped it was all a dream.

At 5:30am my alarm went off. I put on my green Carhartt pants and my working shirt then headed back to my garden. Pulled the hose from the health post to the garden then went to my secret spot to find my extra hose and connected it to the other hose. I placed it in the broccoli plot in the back right corner and went to turn on the water. I watered everything, except for the compost…that wasn’t there…and then started pulling up weeds and piling them where the compost used to be.

You can steal my compost--whoever you are. You can pull up my carrots and break my squash (which someone had done before…probably the same person). You can do whatever you must to piss me off but I will start over again. You can’t keep me from working. So bring it. One day I’ll catch you red handed and then you’re in trouble.